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Sam Firman's avatar

This resonated, Lydia. "Always becoming an age."

I'd be curious to know which film you watched, and whether it was an inspired pause or a disapproving pause. I've always felt drawn to Coming of Age films, or at least to their central idea. For a while I was worried about what this meant. Aren't they supposed to be about teenagers?

But in a society of elongated youth, with weaker rites of passage and a more gradual shift into adulthood ('adulting', in the modern parlance), it feels quite outdated that so-called Coming of Age films tend to focus on (pre) teens. As you capture, life is so much more gradual and episodic.

At 33 I still find it much easier to focus on ways I'm yet to mature than ways I already have. You always want want you don't have etc. Every couple of years or so I seem to realise by surprise – often in the middle of a conversation with a friend, or recalling some past 'fixed' version of myself – that I've become a new age.

Writing this reminded me why I love Richard Linklater's films so much, including Coming of Age classics like Dazed and Confused and Boyhood. They're plotless – all character, dialogue, and setting – leaving everything so open and ... well, dazed and confused. No tidy trajectory; just a long, mysterious road. Far more exciting.

Thanks for encouraging such reflections!

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Lydia Catterall's avatar

Sam! This is all fascinating and resonant. I just turned 34, so I imagine similar messaging, storytelling and imagery have followed us both.

I watched ‘The Last Song’ and ‘The Half of It’ - Both top results when you type ‘coming of age’ into the streaming platforms! I had a moment of real curiosity about Miley Cyrus’ tip into acting, but that was the film I paused to write this. Ive also seen the classics you note, and others you haven’t. I think I’m drawn to them for similar reasons.

I always find more hope and connection in the meandering storylines than the neat and complete ones. That idea feels akin to the way Char Heather (@theremotebody) talks about fragmented, queered and crip narratives. They’re just more reflective of real bodies, and lives, right?

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Sam Firman's avatar

I'll have to check Char out! But yes, I wholeheartedly agree – even when I'm wholebrainedly craving a nice neat bow and ribbon payback kind of ending.

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Michelle Berry Lane's avatar

Finally, I took the time my brain needed to truly read this piece. Happy Birthday Lydia! 💖 Many Blessings ✨

“May you travel in an awakened way,

Gathered wisely into your inner ground. . . “

Somehow, I know you will.

My youngest kid is also an Aquarian--turned 30 yesterday. (My willow weaving friend, Diane, said: (Feckin’ Hell!) But my Ruthie is also an artist who is heart forward and “wisely gathered”, and pays close attention.

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Lydia Catterall's avatar

Then I’m in very good company :) Thank you, thank you, Michelle 🙏 Can we drink tea and talk about trees sometime soon?x

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Michelle Berry Lane's avatar

Yes yes! Let’s do it! Time is a thing 🧐, but shouldn’t stop us.

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Rob's avatar

Oh lydia... wonderful! I have so much going on in my head after reading that... I might have to come back later and write something else! Thank you!

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Lydia Catterall's avatar

Oh, Rob! Tell me things!

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Erin's avatar

Beautiful stuff! This weekend, hair chat has lightened my very heaviest conversations- what an all encompassing subject it is

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Lucy Wright's avatar

Gorgeous! Happy birthday mdear x

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